Hey, Before we dive into today’s topic, I want to let you know that I’m working on a future newsletter dedicated to your questions. I’ve already received some thoughtful ones, and I LOVE hearing from you. If there’s a question you’d like me to answer in an upcoming issue—or just something you’re stuck on—click below to drop it in the box. I read every single response. |
Now, let’s talk about a feeling I know you’ve had before—maybe even today:
That feeling can show up in so many ways: |
Behind in your career (“Everyone else has their dream job…”)
Behind in finances (“How do they already own a house?!”)
Behind in confidence (“Everyone else just gets it, I must be missing something.”)
As a therapist, I see this feeling all the time. And I’ve felt it in my own life too. It’s painful, it’s persistent - especially in a culture obsessed with “milestones”. It can feel inescapable, particularly with the constant bombardment of other people's successes on LinkedIn, Instagram, and TikTok.
Let’s name the culprit: Comparison We know it’s often the root of why we feel behind.
We compare in hopes of feeling grateful. ("Well, I shouldn’t complain. I know others have it worse.")
So how do we shift out of that? |
One antidote: Contentment A favorite quote of mine comes from The Consolation of Philosophy: “Nothing is miserable unless you think it so. And on the other hand, nothing brings happiness unless you are content with it.” It’s true that: |
New car
Fancy gadget
Dream home by the ocean
Will not sustain happiness if we haven’t practiced contentment.
You may feel excited at first—but if you’ve ever bought something shiny and still felt empty weeks later, you know that feeling doesn’t last.
Contentment means:
Being able to enjoy what you already have, while still holding space to grow.
A story from my work I’ve sat with clients who are millionaires—truly, they could quit tomorrow and live however they want. And still, they feel deeply unsatisfied and unable to find joy in anything. And I’ve worked with clients living paycheck to paycheck who have found deep joy in the present moment. The difference isn’t how much they earn. It’s how clearly they live in alignment with their values. So what’s the financial takeaway here? Before your next big spend, try asking: |
Do I want this, or do I think I’m supposed to want it?
Is this aligned with what I truly value, or with what others seem to value?
Would this purchase actually bring ease, joy, or meaning, or just the appearance of it?
That new car, new phone, or dream home might be worth it.
But let’s make sure it’s your dream—not someone else’s highlight reel.
Want a next step? If you've already gone through the core values worksheet I sent in a previous issue, now’s a great time to pull it back out and give it another look. And if you haven’t done it yet?
Set aside 10–15 minutes this week to name your top 3–5 values and ask:
One more thing: measure backward, not just upward. Comparison often pushes us to look upward—to those who know more, have more, earn more, seem more "together." But rarely do we pause and look backward. |
Where were you one year ago?
What habits, boundaries, or decisions have you made since then?
What financial habits have you integrated that have helped you?
You might not be “there” yet. But you’re further than you were. When you know better, you do better.
Progress matters. Even when it’s quiet.
Even when no one claps for it.
We’ll unpack more of this in future newsletters. But this is a powerful starting point: ✅ Break free from borrowed expectations If this sparked something for you, hit reply and tell me what landed.
You’re not behind. Warmly, |
P.S. Some links may be affiliate links, meaning I earn a small commission. No extra cost to you, and I only share what I trust! |
