Hey again,
As I coach more and more individuals with their money management, I continue to see trends that reflect the issues I see in the therapy room. It reminds of of the Stages of Change model we study as therapists: |
Precontemplation (Not Ready): No intention to change in the near future, often unaware or in denial of the problem.
Contemplation (Getting Ready): Aware the behavior is problematic and considers changing, but feels ambivalent or unsure how to proceed.
Preparation (Ready): Intends to take action within the next month and begins making small, actionable plans.
Action (Making Change): Actively modifies behavior and environment to overcome the problem, requiring high commitment.
Maintenance (Sticking with it): Sustains the new behavior for over six months, working to prevent relapse.
Relapse (Recycling): A common return to old behaviors, offering opportunities to learn and re-enter the cycle, often going back to contemplation.
So many people get stuck in one of these stages or end up relapsing, continuing the cycle of discouragement, feeling stuck, and negative self-talk ("I'm dumb, everyone else has it together..."). I built the Mouni Money Dashboard with these stages of change in mind, working to help you get (and stay) unstuck.
Which stage do you feel most stuck in? |
Feeling Stuck Some people don't have a clear sense of direction when they walk into my office for therapy. They may just be following society's cue that therapy = good. Hey, I can't argue with that logic! These people are often in Stage 1: Precontemplation. They have not identified any issues in their life, and as such, they have no intentions to change anything — yet. Oftentimes, as we go along the therapeutic journey, they will become more aware of a particular issue they want to change. Awareness is always the first and most important step. Once we have identified that issue, they move into the next stage. Stage 2: Contemplation Contemplation will look different for everyone, but this is the stage that many people are actually in when they first enter my office or sign up for my financial coaching services. They know there's an issue they want to address but are not quite sure what to do about it. Many times, people will be stuck in this stage for months or years before actually seeking help. They might feel embarrassed, they might feel alone, they might feel behind. I often compare this to someone who hasn't been to the gym in 5 years and knows they "should" but can't seem to muster up the courage because now it's been too long, so what's the point? "I should have started working on this issue years ago, Andrew!" I know, <<First Name>>, I know. And maybe you could have! But you didn't, and now we're here. Whether you've been putting off going to the gym, going to the doctor, getting your car checked on, or opening your credit card balances, avoidance is not the solution. The only way forward is to actually address the problems at hand. |
Finally Getting Somewhere After you have the determination to make a change, you enter Stage 3: Preparation. You are gearing up to actually take action. This might look like changing your schedule to accommodate your new intention of working out. It might look like signing up for a gym membership or calling your new doctor to set up an initial visit. Financially, it might look like gathering all of your financial information or even putting all of your account balances in the new Mouni Money Dashboard.😏 None of these actions by themselves are enacting any change, but they are setting the stage for the next step. Stage 4: Action This is where the momentum finally pays off. There's excitement. You feel good about yourself. You are on top of the world! You show up at the gym. Sure, it felt awkward at first. You forgot where the locker rooms were. You didn't know how to use that new machine the gym added since you were last there 3 years ago. You felt self-conscious at first, but now look at you! You took action and are on your journey to a healthier lifestyle! You go to the doctor. Yeah, you felt embarrassed when the doctor said, "Wow, where have you been?" After the initial hump, you felt good finally getting back into the rhythm. Maybe you had a couple of elevated blood panels, but now you can continue to take action with that information you didn't have before. You finally set up your Roth IRA. You maybe felt discouraged looking at those charts online showing you how much money you could have made had you invested 20 years ago. But you did it! You started investing for your future and setting yourself up for success regardless of past lost opportunities. Maybe you finally made a debt payoff plan (built into my new app, by the way!) or paid a bill you have been putting off. Action feels good. So good! What do we do from here, though?
Ready to take action? |
The Hard Part
Starting is often the hardest part of change. The 2nd hardest part? Stage 5: Maintenance. After beginning a new habit like working out or actually taking control of your finances, keeping it up is incredibly challenging. We've all experienced this, whether it was New Year's Resolutions or simply trying to start a new habit like a weekly date night. Once a habit is truly in the maintenance stage, it gets much easier! We have a routine. We have our gym bag ready to go and our route planned. Our families and friends adjusted their expectations to know that we have these new habits. But it's only easy until it's suddenly not. We get sick, and it ruins our workout regimen. We get an unexpected medical expense that spirals into utter avoidance of our finances again. We lose a job unexpectedly. Or very simply, we run out of steam and burn out from all the new habits we tried to implement (sometimes too much, too fast). Welcome to the ever irritating Stage 6: Relapse! This is where negative self-talk reigns supreme. We tell ourselves that we're not good enough. We lose momentum and hope fades from view. Back to the drawing board. No one is immune to relapsing. Relapse feels like we go back to square one, but really, we have learned valuable lessons throughout these 6 stages — lessons that changed our perspectives, provided new experiences, and brought us just a little closer to being the person we want to be. The stages of change, like most things in life, are a cycle. The sooner we accept this fact, the easier it becomes to experience relapse and acknowledge it as a part of the process, not failure. Without relapse, life would look very boring — staying in maintenance forever — there would be no continual change. Relapse is the reset we need to reevaluate our systems and habits, adapt to new circumstances, and realign ourselves with our values. When (not if) you relapse, you're not failing — you're learning! |
Get Unstuck
We all get stuck in one of these stages at one point or another. We all need a little helping hand or a hefty push to get us going. I'm here for you whether you need a pat on the back or a gentle shove in the right direction. My app, while far from perfect, is continuing to get updates and is ready to help you in this journey as well. You will get prompted to engage with your finances in a meaningful way to help get you unstuck or help you get restarted after a recent relapse.
👉 Start your free trial of my app here
I'd love to hear from you! Please let me know what you think of the Stages of Change and where you see yourself in that cycle. |
Here's to hoping to relapse and learning from our mistakes, |
P.S. Some links may be affiliate links, meaning I earn a small commission. No extra cost to you, and I only share what I trust! |
