Rent vs. Buy: Let's Talk About It

Hey ,

Let’s get one thing clear: I’m not anti-buying a house, and I’m not anti-renting.

What I am against is making one of the biggest financial decisions of your life based on pressure, assumptions, or someone else’s version of success.

It’s easy to assume that buying a home is always the “right” move. We’ve all heard it and even said it ourselves:

“Renting is throwing money away.”
“Real estate is always a good investment.”
“You’re not building equity unless you own.”

But those statements leave out a lot. Especially right now.

Let’s break it down: Renting vs. Buying

When we look at this question, there are two sides that come up every time. One usually wins, but which one that is depends on you.

The financial (spreadsheet) side
The psychological (lifestyle) side

Let’s start with the numbers.

The financial reality: Renting often costs less — if you do it right

I know this might surprise you, but renting is actually more financially sound than buying for a lot of people in today’s market.

And no, I’m not just comparing rent in some cheap city to mortgage costs in San Francisco.

People often try to do an apples-to-apples comparison. For example:
“There’s a 3 bed, 2 bath home for rent at $2,000. A lender says I can buy a similar one for a $2,000 mortgage. Seems like a no-brainer.”

But here’s the problem: That mortgage isn’t the whole story.

Owning a home comes with costs that don’t show up in that neat little monthly quote:

Closing and selling costs
Property taxes (which can go up unexpectedly)
Homeowner’s insurance
HOA fees (sometimes hundreds per month)
Ongoing maintenance and emergency repairs
Lawn care or snow removal
Remodeling or furnishing rooms that don’t feel finished
Appliances breaking, windows leaking, water heaters dying

When you add all of that up, buying is often much more expensive than it first appears. And the idea that you’re “building equity” doesn’t automatically cancel that out.

If you rent for $2,000 and someone owns for $2,000 but is paying another $700 a month in hidden costs, who’s really saving more?

The answer is: the renter, if they invest the difference.

That’s a big “if.” Because what usually happens? The money that could be going into investments gets eaten up by lifestyle creep or just disappears into daily expenses. Human nature often wins out, and we give up our financial advantage when we rent, which is why building equity in a home can win out more in practice, it locks away our money instead of letting it drift.

Below is a screenshot from a Rent vs Buy calculator from the New York Times. I plugged in national averages for home prices, rent, and other common variables.

The result? Renting came out ahead by about $131,000 over a 10-year period - and that's with conservative estimates.

That estimate includes something called opportunity cost, it assumes you’re investing the money you save by renting instead of buying.

Of course, your specific market and how much you’re able to put down will make a big difference. I highly recommend trying it for yourself to see how the numbers play out in your situation.

Based on national averages. Yours may look very different. Here is a link to my numbers that you can tweak to better compare your specific situation

The psychological side: Stability, control, and values

Now, let’s talk about the part that’s harder to quantify.

Homeownership gives you a level of control you can’t get when you rent.

You can hang shelves, paint walls, plant a garden, or knock out a wall without asking anyone’s permission. No more wondering if your lease will be renewed. No more sudden rent increases or ever-changing neighbors.

When my wife and I bought our home, we noticed a big shift in the kinds of relationships we were able to build. Our neighbors were more invested, literally and emotionally. People cared for shared spaces and looked out for each other in a way we didn’t always experience while renting.

For us, those psychological benefits outweighed the financial perks of renting. That’s the decision that aligned with our values, and it made sense for us.

There’s something powerful about putting down roots and saying, “This is my home.”

That said, renting has its own hidden benefits too.

You can text your landlord when something breaks instead of footing the bill yourself. You can try out a neighborhood without committing for 30 years. You can move across town or across the country without needing to sell a house first.

(Although, full transparency, I once had a gaping hole in my wall during a Chicago winter because my landlord took 2 weeks to fix a window. So… choose wisely.)

Values come first

Some people aren’t in a financial position to buy a home right now. That’s not failure. That’s reality.

Even if owning is a top priority for you, you don’t have to do it right now to honor that value. Renting for a season while setting aside money, learning more, and waiting for the right opportunity can be a wise and calm step forward.

Let’s stop pretending this decision has one right answer. Choosing the option that makes less sense financially on paper but brings you more joy and freedom in your daily life can still be the better choice in the long run. Just run the numbers first and know what you’re trading off.

You don’t need to own a home to be financially responsible.

You don’t need to rent forever to stay flexible.

And you definitely don’t need to feel shame about whichever path makes the most sense for you today.

Final thought: Is your home a lifestyle or an investment?

“But Andrew,” you might say, “Owning a home is an investment. I’ll sell it one day and make back all my money.”

Maybe. But it depends on how long you stay, what the market does, and how much you’ve spent keeping the place running in the meantime.

Many people sell their homes and “make a profit” only to realize most of it went into a remodeled bathroom, a new roof, and thousands of dollars in mortgage interest over the years.

Real estate can be an investment. But for most people, it’s really just where they live.

And that’s enough.

If we start treating homeownership as a lifestyle choice rather than an investment strategy, we’re much more likely to make smart, sustainable decisions.

Need to process this with someone?

Buying or renting isn’t just about spreadsheets. It’s about your life. Your rhythms. Your goals. Your values.

If you want to talk through it, I’d love to connect. Are you renting or buying right now? What helped you decide, and do you have any regrets one way or the other? Just hit reply and tell me where you’re at.

No pressure. Just a calm conversation about what works for you.

Talk soon,